Its theme is centred on freedom from past guilt and fears. I pray it produces that effect in your life even as you read.
•••°°°•••
Violet ran, and ran, and ran.
But all her running felt like she was treading a giant treadmill on a spot. Like she was a guinea pig, spinning in a miniature Ferris wheel in an iron cage.
She couldn't control the panic that clawed at her mind at the onslaught of the hulking beings that plodded close on her heels.
How long had it been since she got caught in this cycle of fleeing and snares?
It had been ever since she could tell left from right. Ever since she was little and her cowardice had resulted in the death of her mother.
Violet could feel her lungs constricting. Her breaths came out in short wheezes and loud gasps for oxygen.
The nipping air enveloped her, ruffling her thick, curly hair and lacy dress, not in the nicest of ways.
Thorns and prickles grazed her skin, cutting through the epidermis, and drawing out tiny streaks of blood.
The wind howled around her.
Her mind's cry for help was confined.
Forward. Go forward.
Only, she knew there'd be no refuge ahead.
The malevolent forces chasing her slammed something hard into her back.
She fell face first onto the muddy floor of the forest. As she squirmed and turned over, she felt the darkness towering over her, gloating.
When she gazed into their lifeless coal-black orbs of evil, the scream that had been suppressed in her mind escaped her mouth in an echoing note that quaked the surrounding mountains.
~~~
"You only have to give yourself to Jesus, V. That's the only plausible solution to your predicament."
Violet groaned and rolled her puffy eyes.
She was the picture of everything unkempt. Her hair was dishevelled, her mouth bleeding and her dress had a few scratches like she'd just emerged as a wounded savage from the jungle rather than just getting up from her bed.
It was very early in the morning before the sun had peeked through the horizon. She managed to escape her nightmare just as she was about to be devoured.
She'd hoped to grab a cup of coffee and time to analyze what just happened in her dream.
However, Marabel, her only friend in the world, was already up, flipping pancakes in their small kitchen, whistling a merry tune.
She was sick to her stomach from hearing this same old Jesus mantra.
These motivational speakers and Jesus preachers—her friend topping the list—were beginning to grate on her nerves.
Why did she have to be stuck with such a therapist-counsellor for a friend?
She squinted her eyes, trying not to glower at the dark-skinned, slim lady who was now serving an early breakfast.
Theirs was a queer friendship pair that fulfilled the science law of opposite poles attracting. A complementary match, nonetheless.
They'd met in their high school days when Violet had been living with her third foster parents.
Marabel was being bullied by some high school peacocks. They took special delight in dangling the poor girl's Ventolin inhaler just beyond her reach even though it was obvious the weak girl was having a mild asthma attack.
Violet, who had obtained for herself a reputation of 'the girl no one dared to mess with', felt compelled to rescue Marabel.
Although Violet had initially pushed her away, Marabel was the only real friend who stuck, who saw past her mask of tomboyishness and took her for who she was, even till the present.
"I don't think you heard me well, Mara," Violet said. "You know these nightmares come almost every single night. This one was worse. This one felt so real."
"I know, I know, V. It's all over you. I heard you, alright. And, it's not just now. Your tossing and gasping during the night was part of what woke me up early. I prayed for you."
Violet snorted. Prayed.
Yeah, right. As if that stuff works.
Marabel set the flat plate, which was piled high with hot pancakes garnished with sprinkles, honey and maple syrup, on the small kitchen island and took a seat.
Violet took one slice of the pastry goodie and bit into it with a moan.
Marabel swatted her playfully, saying something about how unethical it was to eat breakfast without brushing and then changed into a serious tone as she looked at Violet with concern.
"V, I'm beginning to get worried about you."
Violet sighed. "I can figure this out, Mara. Trust me. I'll be fine. You know I can take care of myself."
"No, you can't. Why can't you just see it? You need..."
Knowing she was about to say 'Jesus', Violet slammed her hand into the table and stood up so abruptly that her chair fell back.
Her voice was ice.
"Don't. Don't say it again. Please. I'm tired of hearing this. Aren't you tired of saying it? It's no use. It's all a lie. And don't ask me how I'm so sure..." Her voice lowered to a whisper. "There are many things you still don't know about me, Marabel, and it's for the best."
Marabel looked stunned by the outburst.
"Violet... I- I just..."
"It's okay, Mara. I'm sorry for my scaring you with my reaction. Must be the nightmares setting me on edge," Violet said.
There was a long tense pause.
Violet ambled to the room, grabbed her sweater and wiggled into the thick warmth. She snatched up her headphones—which she hung on her neck—and her apple iPhone—which she tucked into her pocket.
She headed for the kitchen door that led out to a trail up a small hill.
"Where are you going?" Marabel asked.
"I will be back in a bit. Just wanna take a long walk or a jog. To clear my head."
"Don't take too long. Be safe."
"Sure."
"And, V?"
"Yeah?"
"Please, I know I might sound preachy and naggy many times and even now, but please... Please, consider what I have been telling you all this while. I promise Jesus can make all your pain and fear go away in the twinkling of an eye. I'm living witness to that. No matter the condition of my body, there's this peace in me because I have hope in Him."
Violet said nothing. She stepped out into the chilly air outside and slammed the door behind her.
~~~
With the headphones playing heavy metal rock and roll music into her ears, she jogged up the hilly path, her legs pumping and her hair bobbing like a pendulum behind her.
Pushing herself to the limits, she tried to shut out the notion in her mind that her dreams were the harbingers of death—something she'd dreaded since childhood.
In a few hours, she'd go put on her plastic smiley professional face and resume training people in yoga and self-defence classes in one of the best fitness and gym centres in this region.
Despite her relative success career-wise, her life was in shambles. She could boast of non-existent family life. No male prospect hovered for longer than a week, and now, they were no longer coming.
The only person who made life a bit bearable was Marabel. Which was ironic because that girl could snuff the life out of her with her incessant preaching ever since she became 'born again' something around last year.
She got to the knoll peak of the hill and sat on the grass to catch her breath, knees raised skywards, her hands clasped over her knees.
She gazed down at the buildings on this suburban side of Neconvil Town.
The golden sun rays of dawn that spilt over the buildings caused a glow to reflect off their roofs.
Simple town. Simple people. In contrast to her complex life.
She leaned back and closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the air.
Suddenly, in the trees behind her, she heard the faint rustling of leaves as if a predator was preparing to strike.
She snapped her eyes open, stiffened and slowly removed her headphones.
She turned in the direction where she was certain the sound originated from, frowning in concentration.
After a long time of staring and watching carefully and seeing or hearing nothing of worth, she relaxed and let out a whoosh of air.
Maybe I'm just being unnecessarily paranoid, she thought.
Time to head back.
As she stood up, dusted her pants and started to jog back down the hill, she couldn't shake off this nightmarish dread that strolled down her spine, telling her that something was off.
~~~
"I'm back!" Violet hollered as she entered in.
No response.
"Hey! Marabel! Where the hell are you? Don't tell me you devoured all my breakfast for yourself. I'm not in the mood for any games."
Violet walked to the room that they both shared.
She opened the door and suddenly a strong scent of antiseptics wafted into her nostrils and the place was stuffy. Weird.
She stepped in and followed her instinct and the scent and opened their bathroom door. Her eyes widened when she saw Marabel sprawled on the floor, gasping for air while clutching at her neck, choking, battling a full-fledged asthma attack.
She let out a series of expletives.
Why did Marabel always have to play the sanitation hero? Was this a good time to start playing about with large spills of toilet cleaner?
So, the sensation that something bad would happen that she'd had was not for herself but her friend?
She hefted Marabel up and carried her to the bed.
Fast as a flash, she opened all the windows and doors for cross ventilation and fresh air.
After looking around for her friend's Ventolin inhaler without success, she rushed to the kitchen to get the jar of honey.
Using the nearest clean piece of cloth she could find, Violet poured globs of honey into its centre and used it to cover her friend's nose for her to breathe through. Marabel's shallow breathing slowly eased to normal and soon she was taking deep breaths of rest.
But, after some minutes, Marabel's temperature spiked. Violet began tepid sponging her to bring the fever down, thanking her stars that she remembered all the health tips she had gleaned from her mother who had been a nurse.
Violet had to send a message to her workplace to cancel all her training sessions and appointments because she was held up in an emergency.
"Come on, Mara. Talk to me," Violet said as she placed the wet towel on Marabel's forehead.
Incoherent mumbles. Marabel was delirious.
"I have to get you to the hospital, Mara. Please don't you dare die on me."
As she stood up to get her car keys, she felt Marabel's hot palm grasp her wrist.
Marabel looked like she wanted to say something so Violet leaned in.
"V... Pray..." she heard Marabel say with effort in a voice barely above a whisper.
Violet blanched.
For Marabel to desperately ask her to do the one thing she knew she'd vowed to never do again was heart-shattering. The one action that she'd tagged with pain and betrayal. The one inaction that triggered memories.
~~~
Seven-year-old Violet whimpered as she clung to the frame of the door and watched her stepfather pommel her mother's body like she was a punching bag.
"Pray, Violet, pray," her mother had managed to cry out.
Violet had been too terrified to do anything.
Her stepfather—that ugly monster—only intensified his blows till he had beaten her mother to a pulp.
Her mother fell unconscious and sustained so many internal injuries that she didn't make it.
~~~
Ever since that awful season of her life, two things had been ingrained in Violet's mind:
Number one. God wasn't real, and even if he was, he wasn't interested in what went on in anyone's life. He most likely enjoyed seeing humans, even those who claimed to believe him, suffer. That fact was once more corroborated by seeing the sickness that ravaged Marabel's life.
Number two. That she was the reason for her mother's death. Her fear and incapacity to do anything to help her mother were what caused her mother's death.
Because of that, she steeled her heart, went through the motions of foster homes, and when she broke free at her legal age of independence, she made sure to put up a tough facade.
"I can't do this," she said back to Marabel, shaking her head.
"You can, V. You know you can. If not... If not for yourself. Then, please... For me," Marabel feverishly said.
Tears spilt as she watched her friend's face contour in a fit. She saw her mother in that face. It changed to herself.
Violet, a voice from the good times in her childhood called.
Come to me. Let me ease your burden and take away the violent storm raging in you
Waves of anger mixed with the realization that she was the one who needed this healing most washed over her.
If you're who my heart is telling me is speaking, if I'm not going crazy, then explain why my mother had to die, why you allow Marabel to suffer so much.
They don't deserve to suffer.
I would do anything in the world to reverse the hands of the clock and take my mother's place. You can't take Marabel away from me. Not her too. Please.
Violet, my flower.
The voice brought a strange calm to her.
I did this for you. I took your place in death, in pain and fear. I took it all away. If only you'd just embrace what I've done for you. Embrace me.
She bowed her head and wept into the hands of her friend for a long time.
It made sense now. The fears were a lie. Perhaps this scary bout of sickness her friend was going through was one of His means of drawing her attention to Himself, back to her former untarnished childlike faith.
She raised her head and whispered slowly, "I'm praying again, after so long, uh, God. If you're there, please hear me. Please, heal Marabel. She trusts you, and now, I'm taking the risk to do the same.
"Also, I, uh, I am asking you to please forgive me. Take away my fears. Take away my insecurities. Take away my regrets from the past. If you'll have me, then I'll like to start with you from the scratch. Hopefully, it'll work out this time."
She scooted into the small space on the bed, snuggled beside Marabel, whose fever was already letting up, and whispered into her hair, "Thank you God for giving me this sister I never had. For making her stay. For using her despite her health challenge to reach out to me. May we grow old together."
Violet drifted off into the most peaceful sleep she'd ever had since her childhood days.
~~~
Light rays caressed her face and caused Violet to open her eyes. The dark forest she'd been accustomed to running through was now lighted up.
All the monsters that always seemed to claw at her, all the thorns and shards of stones were gone.
All she could see was an ethereal, beautiful garden that looked like no one had ever seen it or stepped into it.
Well, except the gardener, who obviously must have spent all his life caring for this space.
"Wow!"
She breathed in the air. It was a mixture of life and freedom.
She lifted her hands towards the Azure blue sky and laughed.
"To the one who answered me when I prayed. Thank you, God."
Her hands became silky, her smile, radiant.
A soft zephyr surrounded her. It lifted her like fragrant confetti.
As the dispersion happened, she felt all the guilt and fear and hardened walls she'd built around her heart crumble down.
And she laughed with abandon.
~~~
Author's note: What a wonderful transformation in the life of Violet, don't you think?
Don't allow your past to hold you back from reaching out to God. One thing is certain, whether you have an ugly past that still haunts you or you have a sickness that still afflicts your body, God knows about everything. He is with you in your violent seasons, and he loves you beyond measure. Call on Him and He will answer you.
Kindly comment, vote and share if this story blessed you in any way.
Thanks so much for reading.
Comments
Post a Comment
Hey buddy, tap here to comment!